


I'm sorry

by neeerdaholic



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Did I Mention Angst?, Grieving, Kylo Ren Backstory, Kylo Ren Dies, More angst, Young Ben Solo, depressed luke skywalker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:13:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25633366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neeerdaholic/pseuds/neeerdaholic
Summary: In which luke actually succeeds to kill Ben solo.
Relationships: Han Solo & Kylo Ren, Leia Organa & Ben Solo, Leia Organa/Han Solo, Luke Skywalker & Ben Solo, Luke Skywalker & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 6
Kudos: 45





	I'm sorry

Luke saw nothing but darkness.

He felt it, Dark energy invading every part of him, he searched for one ray of light, he searched for one beam of hope, there was none.

And then the visions started: a disfigured man on a throne laughing as another man -luke realizes that this man would be his grown up nephew- slaughters men and women, he sees a man full of anger and hate with wildness in his yellow eyes scream and curse, he sees that man push a red cross guarded lightsabre through Han solo.

Han, his long time best friend and brother-in-law, would die at the hands of his own child.

He sees more visions, more darkness and suffering that suffocates him. He pulls out of the boy's head.

He has seen enough, he has seen too much.

He knelt down next to the boy and he was shocked to see him sleeping so peacefully, he can't believe that such innocent child would do such things.

He looked like a delicate angel but what luke saw was the actions of a vile devil.

It can't be Ben.

Ben who would clutch chewie's hair when he fell asleep, Ben who would braid his mother's hair gently when she's sad, Ben who would smile wildly when his father tells him he did a good job, Ben who was always too shy and quiet.

It can't be Ben

But the force said it was him.

He has to do something to stop the visions from becoming reality.

It's too late to bring him back to the light side.

The galaxy simply can't afford another vader.

He knows what he has to do, but he doesn't know if he has the strength to do it.

He ignites his lightsabre.

The kid is only fourteen.

Han and Leia would never forgive him.

No one would ever forgive him.

He would never forgive himself.

He opens his eyes to look at the boy before he strikes him down, and to his surprise the boy is now awake and staring back at him. He knows Luke's intentions and awaits for his execution.

Luke hesitates but still pushes his lightsabre down the boy's chest and the kid moans in pain. The brown eyes never leaving the blue. Greenlight illuminating them.

The boy quietly breathes out "why?" Before luke saw the force leaving the brown eyes for good.

He deactivated his lightsabre, knelt down and hugged the lifeless body. He cursed the force and it's jedi.

He rocked his nephew's corpse back and forth and kissed his forehead. He moved the black hair from the boy's face, stroked it and closed his eyes.

He wept again.

When the screaming and the crying stopped, he could only whisper "I'm sorry".

.............

Leia woke up from her bed shivering, she felt desperately cold, she started crying and sobbing in minutes even though she doesn't quite understand why. Han wakes up startled and tries to comfort her.

"What's wrong sweetheart?" He asks, to which she replies to: "Luke is in so much pain..." her breath hitches and she sobs again before continuing "a-and I c-can't sense him, I can't sense Ben!"

Han doesn't necessarily understand the gravity of the situation, nevertheless he follows Leia as she desperately tries to use the holocomm to communicate with luke.

40 minutes passed and she still had no signal from luke, she tries to communicate with him through the force but he blocked her out. She can still sense the pain radiating from him.

Han tells her that the force can't possibly be right all the time, that luke was capable of protecting their son and that nothing can go wrong.

Suddenly she felt a new wave of coldness, a new wave of pain from a source so close, so close she can sense it coming from the front door.

She runs to open it, her husband following behind her.

Later she would wish she hadn't opened it.

She sees a man approaching, she recognizes him as luke, but his face way older with grief, he's carrying a body.

No, this can't be true,

This can't be Ben!

She tries to move but her legs disobey her, soon her brother was in front of her. She looks at the face of the body and her heart shatters into a million pieces.

She moaned and screamed and clutched her son's body.

Han fell to his knees within a second, still gazing at his son, he felt his wife collapse next to him and they both clutched the kid's body and wept.

Han doesn't know how long he stayed like that. He can barely sense himself moving, he doesn't think he's alive either. He looks up to luke who was still standing in the doorway.

Luke, who hadn't looked them in the eye once.

"Who did this?" Han's voice so harsh from continuous screaming.

Luke doesn't answer.

"WHO did this?" Han questions again, his tone louder.

Luke doesn't answer. His eyes fixed on the floor.

"TELL ME!!" Han screamed, grabbing luke by the collar and slamming him to the wall.

They deserve to know the truth.

They don't deserve the pain that comes with it.

"Han..." Leia's voice was too quiet and tired, she was still holding Ben's hand. She moved her eyes from Han to Luke and he could sense she was pleading for an answer as well.

He was too weak to tell her

He felt like a coward, he was sure that he was one

He slowly broke free from Han's grips, he finally looked at them in the eyes. He whispers "I'm sorry" and then he left. He had decided he'd go into exile.

He had failed Ben, by sentencing him to death for crimes he hadn't yet committed.

He had failed Leia, by promising her that he would train and help her son, but never keeping his promise.

He had failed Han, by not telling him the truth, by being a coward and not admitting what he has done.

He had failed the jedi order, by allowing such failure to be repeated, by allowing the dark side to capture his apprentice's mind.

He had failed his other padawans, by leaving suddenly without any explanation and without completing their training.

He had failed himself, for not understanding that love was more important that the force.

At least he saved the galaxy.

That's what he thought.


End file.
